CAREER GAME

 Almost 2 years changing my career path. I've been dealing with myself most of the time either this is the best decision or not. But I guess this is it. I started to discover my interest in teaching world when I was in college year. I have to help my friends whos in need when it comes to academic and slowly it develops into tutoring phase. 

It's not easy for me to stop thinking about designing product in industry. It is still a pure love since day 1 I was in upper form. But, things we love sometimes will remain as what we loved. But, I need to change the career game and start to think widely. And I need to understand clearly that life is not a race. I just need to embrace every moment. 

I wished I have more time to do what I love. I wished I can find my truly interest. I wished my decision is good enough for me to be happy. I wished for the bright life. 

Till next time,
Pena Bunga 💋

PANDEMIC

It's been a long time for me not to write about anything. I have this miserable mind whenever it comes to write something from the bottom of my heart as my mind start running and all the negative vibes keep throwing inside me. But now, I kind like to accept everything in my life. And see the good behind everything that happened. I believe, I'm a lot more strong now as I'm getting older.

After like 2 years not writing or posting anything, here I am. Get up from my bed, search <blog spot> and writing stuffs. It's hard for me to start writing back after a long break but I think the time is changing during this pandemic. You lost interest in certain things, you keep waiting for the latest data of people who severe with the virus and you start to be overthinking even for a smallest things. Trust me, not just you. I'm going through just the same as you. 

I still remember 2019. The last year we got to see each other face to face instead of meet up virtually. The last year we got to attend any ceremony without thinking of wearing face mask. And also the last year we got to travel all around the world before they closed all the gates. If and only if we have another 10 minutes of the year 2019. Just 10 minutes to at least be grateful for what I have before. 

It has been almost 2 years we're stuck with the new normal lives.

But after all,  

I know that everything happened must be a good reasons behind. I will never stop on praying for us to be back just like the best year, 2019. Our last year before pandemic. And I will always keep praying for our mental health. Keep strong. And never stop on trying to live our life. 

When You Grow Older

I really missed my teenage year. Since i grow older, I already forgot on how to have a genuine smile, genuine laugh and most importantly is I know on how to pretend that everything was okay eventhough it's not. As your age increases, the tendency for you to get depressed on littlest stuff is higher. You don't even realise it but there must be a time where you wanted to stop almost everything. Just like me. 

I was a happy girl. A talkative one. But little that I know, I started to push everything away and circle of my friends getting smaller. Cried almost every night alone and became lot more sensitive. But, I'm so grateful that I always know the limit. And keep getting back to the basic. 

It doesn't matter how hurtful you are, how stressful life you facing. Get back to the basic. You'll find your way back. There's nothing wrong to cry your heart out but make sure, pull yourself together after and chin up. Each of us can't avoid all the obstacles and hardship because there always the reasons behind. Huge impact for your future. Believe and trust yourself because, you are important not for others but for yourself. I'll keep rooting and praying for each of us :) 

Sudah Terbaik

‘SUDAH TERBAIK’
Pena Bunga
September 2019

Tuhan itu tahu apa yang terbaik,

Kalau pun kamu merasakan sebaliknya,

Tetap saja di penghujungnya

Kamu dinilai sudah terbaik.

Coretan ini buat kamu yakin,

Bahawa sesungguhnya kamu

bukannya si malang,

Yang tertinggal di daerah sendiri.

Tetapi kamu lah insan terpilih

Yang dilihat Tuhan kerna

Kekuatanmu, semangatmu.

Suasana malam dingin nan sepi

Membuatkan kamu selalu terfikir,

Apa benar dipenghujungnya,

Kamu dilayan seperti sang penghibur?

Dilemparkan kata-kata manis.

Diselimuti dengan sutera emas.

Percayalah,

Layanan Tuhan terhadapmu

Maha Besar.

Dan itulah sebaik-baik layanan.

ALIF'S BIRTHDAY PRANK

 "You have to get me double cheese burger right now. I am writing about you tho"

Basically on this date, Alif was absence from Rapid Prototyping class. I'm a good student coming to this class guys!  (I don't want to come too as the class is at 8:45 a.m. and absolutely we do nothing there). So, I came a bit late and go sit in front of the class with zero in my mind. Then suddenly my girlfriends said that today is his birthday but of course not everyone remember especially me. I'm not even remember my birthday sometimes. So, they planned to do a small prank for Alif and of course I'm the mastermind. (Of course not guys, do not believe me for sure).

So, after the class around 10:30 a.m. (My lecturer a bit lazy to do the class so, instead finished the class at 1 p.m he decided to finish the class super early. -MAN ALWAYS GET LAZY EASILY, I TOLD YOU-) .

Here's the planned. I've to call Alif and asked him to follow me, Muz and Ammar to buy some goods. I was like, "Alif, nak ikut tak pergi beli barang. Please cepat sikit siap sebab we go immediately after the class end". But Alep does not know that the class is finish early. And he just said okay with those sleepy voice. (OFCOURSE HE JUST WOKE UP JUST BECAUSE OF DOTA)

So, Emma and the others including me in a rush brought the cakes, birthday hat, candles, flour. It took so long with the cakes. I'm a girl but I'm not that kind of person who creative in choosing and all. So, when in the cake's shop, my eyes caught so many kind of breads and I just totally immerse with picking some for me and Azreen. (There's no Alif anymore, just my breads guys. haha)

Then paid the cake and we shoot to the college as soon as we can. I was texting Alep and asked him to wait at the hostel's lobby as I'm on my way to pick him up. We arrived the  college and in fornt of girl's hostel. I took Emma's car key and go to boy's hostel.

It was so hot even you opened up the aircond but still super hot and guess what, Alif is not taking his bath and all the planned stuck for about 30 mins. (They have waited for you, Alif under the sun and sweating so bad!). I was so lucky because at least I'm in the car. haha.

The super stupid is they asked me to pretend like we have to do u-turn to girl's hostel because Emma left her purse in the car. But when we are in front of girl hostel, suddenly Emma said go park the car first because Emma and Intan want to come along. (DEYY, THE CAR IS ALREADY FULL. YOU WANNA GET CAUGHT WITH ALIF ABOUT THIS PLANNED?!) hahaha

I just do what they asked me to do so. And we have to wait 15 mins more. (I CAN SQUEEZE MY SHIRT GUYS AND GET A PAIL OF SWEAT!) Out  of the blue, Amirul, Ammar, Jay is running through the car and throw the flour to him  and yeahh, IT'S ALIF BIRTHDAY PRANK (not so prank lah hahah) But the thing is, not just Alif but everyone is having so much fun and that's all we need. As our bonding is getting stronger and that is the most important things.

HAPPY 20TH BELATED BIRTHDAY ALIF!!

p/s: duit cake masih lagi belum kutip sampai lah sekarang guys. Semua buat-buat lupa kan. haha and plus kawan-kawan Alif bukan perempuan ja haha

ABOUT SHOOTING STAR

Shooting Star will always represents myself to always aim higher and believe in myself in anything that I do. I always afraid to try something but in the end, something that I afraid to try the most is things that can sparks myself and make me never be in the dark again. 

I wanted to share with you guys my personal stories, places, memories when it all started. I still remember the first time I wrote my diary about all the crushes and loves. *actually i wanted my crush to know that i likes him* then I accidently (actually I wanted too) left the books on my table and he actually took the book and read it. *I know I'm the genuine person when it's about crushing on someone* (you guys can follow mine).

From there, instead of writing the diary why not I'm blogging. Everyone can read it. And I don't have to try hard putting all the things I've wrote on the table just to let people read them. So here I am, writing this just to share with everyone. Every ups and down, sad nor happy is in here, Shooting Star. 

I hope you too be brave shoot those star and embracing who you are!